Journey stood in front of the mirror, running her hands over her yellow sundress. No matter how hard she tried to get the wrinkles out, they kept reappearing. She gave up and began to fidget with her hair. “You look beautiful.” Bruce stood and watched his wife from the doorway as she combed her hair once more. “It’s just been such along time, I want to look nice.” “I know honey.” He walked over to her and she fell into his arms, trying to hold back the tears that were fighting to be …
When doesn’t a kiss count?
I had a very interesting conversation on the topic regarding the legitimacy of the “drunken kiss”. The debate was whether or not the kiss should be counted as a real kiss or should it be disregarded as though it never happened, since it took place under the “influence.” Seeing as how we disagreed, me believing that it should count, and the other party believing it shouldn’t, I had to take this quandary to the streets, i.e. Facebook, where I received a lot of mixed answers as well.
The mixed answers themselves were no surprise, but what did surprise me is that the majority of men who answered my question, sided with ME! They believed that the kiss should counts, even though liquid courage played a part in the equation, whereas most of the women said it shouldn’t count because a drunken kiss doesn’t have any meaning behind it.
Now, we all know that woman think with their emotions and our male counterparts tend too be more logical about things, so a part of me could see why the men said it would count. To most of them, I believe kiss is just a kiss, but for a woman, for a kiss to be counted, it has to mean something. But who’s to say there can’t be meaning behind a drunken kiss? Sometimes the alcohol gives up the extra oomph you need to finally make the move you’ve been contemplating making all night long.
In that moment, you wanted to kiss that person. Sure it may not lead into a relationship or ever happen again, but that shouldn’t down play the fact that it happened. Another reason why I think most of the women said no, is because it can often times be embarrassing to be that “couple” at the bar that’s making out as though no one else is around. My friends and I have often made fun of that couple, so I understand why they wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of our jokes. I also believe that women wouldn’t want it to count because they don’t want to be seen as women behaving badly. Let’s face it the world has a whole different set of rules for men and women when it comes to expressing sexuality.
I say if you kiss someone when you’ve had a little too much to drink, but can still remember that person’s name the next day, bottom line, it counts. I’d love to hear some more opinions though, so comments are strongly encouraged.
As always, this is from my heart to yours.
Ariel
In my last blog post, Finding love and blueberry bagels, I mentioned how I’ve been sensing God in everything that I do. And one of the examples that I gave, was the untangling of my necklaces and earrings that tend to wrapped up in one another since I don’t have a proper jewelry box to keep them in. One day I was getting ready for work and I was having the hardest time with pulling my necklaces and earring apart. I stopped struggling and I told God that I need his help, especially since I was running late and after I did that, my necklaces and earrings instantly unraveled. Needless to say I was amazed, and then it hit me, it could all be so simple if we just let God do what he does best, which is take care of us.
So often we try to handle things on our own, and we don’t ask for Him for help until it’s too late, or sometimes not at all. And because of that, our lives can get a bit tangled and complicated. No one wants to struggle through life, and I’m not saying that it will always be a cake walk or an easy fix, but everything doesn’t always have to be complicated. He will give you the answers to your questions and problems, all you have to is just ask, being willing to listen, and then follow his instructions.
From my heart to yours,
Ariel
Lately, I have been sensing God in everything that I do. From what I dream about, to the way I brush my teeth, and even from untangling my jewelry when my necklaces become intertwined with my earrings, but that is a message for another time. This evening, my message is about how you usually find what you’re looking for, when you finally stop searching for it.
For the past week, I have been searching high and low for blueberry bagels. Yesterday, I even stopped at two grocery stores determined to find the illusive bagels. You see, I happened to stumble across a bag of blueberry bagels while out grocery shopping last week. And being such a huge fan of those tasty treats, I had to have them. Only 6 come in a bag, so they were gone within a weeks time. But when I went back to the store to purchase them again, I couldn’t find them. I went right back to the bread aisle, but no luck, my bagels were completely sold out. So I waited a few days thinking the store would get in a new shipment. But when I returned three days later, still no bagels.
Me being the educated woman that I am, I figured I’d just go to another store, which would surely have MY blueberry bagels. But to my dismay, they continued to allude me. By this point I really don’t understand how two stores could be out of the one thing that I want, it didn’t make sense to me. More than annoyed at this point, I return to the original store I found the bagels, determined to get to the bottom of what was really going on. But when I got to the store, I told myself that perhaps it was for my benefit that I couldn’t find the bagels. I’d made it up in my mind that for whatever the reason God didn’t want me to have those bagels, and instead I’d just get myself some yogurt since I was out of that as too, but boy was I in for a surprise.
As I peruse the yogurt, which just so happens to be kept on the opposite side of the aisle as the bread, I found my infamous blueberry bagels in the refrigerated section, right below the yogurt. I could have kicked myself when I realized that someone had placed the bagels beside the bread after probably deciding that they didn’t want them, instead of putting them back where they’d found them.
To bring my story full circle, often times when we are searching for something that we can’t seem to find no matter where we look, it’s not that God doesn’t want us to have the desires of our hearts, it may just be that we’re looking in the wrong places. And that when we stop looking is when we usually find it.
Now how this ties into other parts of my life, is because I have been single for the past year, and I know understand that love may not come to me the same way it has in the past. For example, every now and then I’ll meet a nice guy in a club or at a happy hour, so in my mind, it would only make sense that I could continue to meet potential boyfriends/husbands that way, but now I’m beginning to think that may not be the case. It will probably find me in a place where I least expect it, like an introduction through a mutual friend, or just out and about going through my every day life. Therefore all I have to do is be patient, because God will make sure that I am at the right place, at the right time, and it doesn’t get any better than that.
Not only is God’s timing perfect for my life, but it’s also perfect for yours. So to all my fellow romantics out there that are looking for love in all the wrong places, know that it will find you when you’re ready, and maybe even when you’re out shopping for blueberry bagels.
From my heart to yours,
Ariel
February 14th has finally arrived, and it is the first time in two years that I don’t have a special someone in my life to celebrate Valentine’s Day with, but I am not bitter, or upset. Instead, I am continuing to embrace my singleness by celebrating Singles Awareness Day. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, being single is a blessing, and should be treated as such. And I want to share a list of ideas on how to make the most of this special day, which I found on Your Tango.
1. Indulge in yourself. Since Valentine’s Day is all about love, spending the day loving yourself makes perfect sense. Play hooky from work (or just leave an hour early) and do whatever you want, be it pampering yourself with a lavish mani-pedi or staying home, ordering take out and marathoning every movie your celeb crush has ever been in. After all, you have no one to please but your own darn self.
2. Find something new to love. Interested in taking up yoga? Want to learn how to dance ballet? Wish you could cook risotto? Challenge yourself to do something you haven’t done before, or seldom get to do because of your schedule.
3. Send love someone else’s way. Studies show that kindness spreads, so start an epidemic. Give Valentine’s Day cards to those close to you, like your co-workers and friends, as well as those not so close to you, like the barista who serves you your coffee. Not the Hallmark type? Volunteer locally and help those less fortunate than you. Seeing a face light up from your small gesture will fill you with love and make the world a better place. (We’re serious—check out this link about how one act of kindness generates a domino effect of goodness.)
4. Throw a party. If gift-giving won’t go over with your group, invite your friends over to celebrate being fabulous. ‘Nuff said. Our friends at Yahoo! Shine have a great V-Day party planning guide for you, covering everything from color schemes to cocktails.
5. Figure out what you want out of love. We know, we know, this whole post is about NOT being romantic. But since our mission is to help people live their best love lives, we would be remiss in not telling you that—even if you don’t want to right now or don’t believe it will ever happen—everyone, including you, can fall in love. And it usually happens when you least expect it. So take some time to write down a few love goals. Whether you want to remain single for ten more years or want to start dating this month, the clarity of knowing what you want makes it that much easier to get there.
I think these are all great ideas, but I saved the best for last. Most of us walk around proclaiming that we want a love the like epic kind we see in movies, but do we really know what it takes to have a successful relationship? Knowing what you want out of love will save you a lot of time and heartache. Something equally important is knowing how to give love, and love that person even when you don’t want too. So today I dare you to look yourself in the mirror, and ask yourself what exactly is that you want out of love, and what are you willing to do to maintain the love that you’ve worked so hard to find.
As always, this is from my heart to yours. Happy Singles Awareness Day!
I can only be me
So I am done telling you what I’m not
All I can do is show you who I am
And pray that one day you’ll see, that’s a pretty cool thing to be
Lost in translation, you have a hard time understanding what I’m saying
Looking for hidden meanings when there are none
You say I don’t treat you like others and my response to that is
I may not always tell you what you want to hear
But I”m a true blue kind of friend, always loyal to the end
Even when you’re a butt to me
As we both know you have a tendency to be
I’ll still have your back
Why you ask? Because, that’s just me being me
And one day I pray you’ll see, that’s a pretty cool thing to be
I’m learning how to use all the things around me to write when inspiration finds me. Earlier this week I got an idea for a short story which I kept brushing off, but the characters kept begging me to tell their story. And since I knew they would soon begin to haunt me in my sleep, I gave in and started on a piece entitled: Stealing Joy. I’ve only written a few notes, but I know the gist of how I want the story to unfold, and will start writing it tomorrow.
Then today, while on my way to the movies, I got an idea for another story, which I’m thinking about possibly writing as a script for a movie, and I jotted down some ideas using my phone. That was the first time I’ve ever used the notes option on my phone, which made me hate my phone a little bit less today lol. And I used it a second time when I woke up after my nap and got the urge to write a poem, which I will post shortly. So from now on, I will be putting my pen to paper whenever the feeling moves me, and strike while the iron is hot.
Maria sat at the crowded bar sipping on an apple martini, hoping it would calm her nerves. First dates always made her nervous. “Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?” Maria turned to see a stunning brunette performing a balancing act with a purse in one hand and a glass in the other. It looked as though she’d been tossed about in the sea of people who were there unwinding from a hard day’s work. Maria smiled and motioned for her to join her, welcoming the distraction. “I don’t know why my …
As I sit here typing this it hit me that January is more than half way over. The new year brought new opportunities for self reflection, and I know I’m late posting mine, but here goes. 2011 was an amazing year, and filled with a lot of firsts. I traveled quite a bit, and even made some new friends along the way.
I got to attend Jazz in the Gardens, which is music festival in Miami, FL. And in June I went on my first cruise, which in turn took me out of the country for the first time ever. I also went horseback riding for the first time, and as much as I loved it, haven’t done it since June. I’ll work to remedy that soon lol. Plus in September I got to finally spend Memorial Day weekend with my sisters in Orlando. I know you’re probably thinking what’s so special about that, but it’s become a tradition over the past few years, one that I didn’t get to participate in the first few times since I was in a relationship. So, this year I got to stay at the Ritz Carlton and be completely lazy and enjoy the extremely nice ambiance of the hotel. Then in October I went back to Vegas, and that’s where I met my new bff lol. And at Thanksgiving, I got to bake my first cake from scratch. To you that may not be a big deal, but to see the smile on my 7 year old niece’s face while preparing that cake, made my day.
As January 2012 comes to a close, I have tentatively planned two trips for this year and have decided to apply for an internship of sorts in D.C. I have been doing endless research on freelance writing, fellowships, and grants for artist, and by the grace of God, stumbled upon quite a lot of helpful information which continues to come to me all sorts of ways. I vowed to make 2012 all about my writing ambitions, and think I am off to a pretty good start. And considering how quickly 2011 came and went, I’m sure this year will do the same. So with being said, I’ll bring my rambling to an end. Have a great night and a very happy new year!
All across the nation today, parades and celebrations are being held in honor of the great activist, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and I thought not only was it appropriate, but necessary to write a few words in remembrance of his legacy. Although today is a national holiday, we should remember what he stood for, which was not only a belief that he lived for, but died for.
He died while fighting for the equality of all people. And although we have made progress, we still have a ways to go before his dream can be fully realized. But I won’t go off on one of my tangents about what’s wrong with the black community today, because it’s not about me today, it’s about him. And with that in mind, I have complied a list of his quotes, and all I can say is WOW. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
